My aunt divorced many years ago. Raising two children and holding multiple jobs, she realized she didn't have time to meet people. She had no time to court people. She had no time to fall in love. After a while she began to become bored. What had happened? She was smart and beautiful, yet who has the time to put themselves out there anymore? Then her life drastically changed. She was introduced to online dating. In the past year she has gone on over 40 online dates. According to her there is a genuine person every ten men. However, she keeps going strong. Last spring break when I went to visit her in England she told me about her online romances. She was currently talking to three different men from around the United Kingdom. I attentively listened to her tales about strange men, sad and lonely men, and funny men. She showed me pictures of the beautiful men she insisted she had met on her dating sites. I still wasn't buying this. I had seen the show Catfish and simply assumed that my aunt was being played by these online accounts. Well, until I met up with her on one of her dates. I asked, 'Do you have any sons?' My trips duration was approximately two weeks. My aunt insisted that if I wanted to stay in her house I should make an account too. She told me how it is now a social norm in the United Kingdom, as well as across Europe, to date online. It wasn't anything to be ashamed of nor was it anything to hide. Her and her friends would go to promoted single events and would always come home with a laugh. She knew I didn't believe her and wanted me to see what it was myself. So I made an account.
As soon as I made an account a million things rushed through my head. What do I do? What do I make my profile picture? What do I write about myself? What is safe to share? How to stay safe? How can you tell if someone is genuine? My aunt, after over 40 dates, took me under her wing. After all she is the master of online dating and bestowed upon me her wisdom. She told me everything I needed to know at the time and assured me everything would be okay. She gave me an iPhone so I could call and text the people I met. My aunt was setting me up for online dating. She made it seem so normal. This would never have happened in the States. I was stunned. But if she could find her Romeo's on this site, could I? I immediately was bombarded with a million notifications. I received messages ranging from creepy to absolutely adorable. I couldn't even keep up with them. Turns out an American girl living in Oxford is a hot commodity. (Who knew?) I was soon to be leaving and I still hadn't met up with anyone on the site. I had, however, caught a few Catfishes... A Catfish is when someone uses someone else's picture on an online service. They pretend to be someone else. They all had similar excuses on how they were models (explaining the abundance of their photos on the internet), being stalked by an ex, or their account soon disappeared. Then I found the real deal. He was six foot and in the RAF (Royal Air Force.) My aunt was putting on the pressure for me to meet up with someone and this soldier seemed genuine. He was my first.
We planned to meet downtown Oxford where we would grab some food then head to a pub. We were to meet at six. But of course I missed my bus and had to wait. Initially I was thirty minutes late. I was mortified because I hate being late and I am never late. (Except to English class literally every day...) I don't want this to be his first impression of me. Being an American I didn't know my way around Oxford and had no idea where I was supposed to meet him. I couldn't find him. All I could think was that this was a hoax. Then I saw him. I immediately hid between two buildings and told my aunt I was coming home. She inquired why. I told her that I couldn't do it. He didn't look like his pictures and he couldn't have been taller than me. I was mostly mortified of meeting him and his appearance didn't really matter. This was all too sketchy for me. I was in a foreign land with a borrowed cell phone meeting someone from Scotland I had met online. We were meeting for a date. Not a hang out or a get to know each other dinner. A real genuine date. I was a nervous and awkward mess. My aunt told me that I better suck it up and that if she could survive 40 of these, then I could survive one. Nope. I was looking for a loophole. I did a 180 in hopes of him not seeing me and I headed to the central movie theater. I would hide in the theater. But the closest movie time for the show I wanted to see was in an hour. Crap. I conjured up a plan. I paid for the ticket and held in all my pride as I went to where he was. If it was the last thing I did I would go on this date with this soldier I met online. We finally met at 7. He looked and waited for me for an hour.
I told him something came up and that I only had an hour. I told him I thought he ditched me, so I bought a movie ticket in case I was stood up. He believed me and said he understood and that it was all a misunderstanding. We went to a nearby noodle shop and ordered some beers. Turns out he is an only child, 25, and ready to settle down. What? While I went to meet with him for a fun time, this man was looking to meet his not so future wife. I have never gone to the bathroom more in my life then that night at dinner. I couldn't wait to get away. I continued looking around for someone to save me. He was incredibly dull and wouldn't stop talking about the military. I tried to seem interested, but all I could do was count down the minutes to leave. Ten minutes before the show started it was time to get the bill. He was a little short cash so I had to spot him for his meal. He walked me to the theater, leaned in for the kiss as I pulled a swerve, and ran inside the theater. He told me he had a great time and that he wanted to meet the next day. I never contacted him back on the phone or through the site. I understand I probably was sweating the whole time with nerves and never really gave the guy a chance, but I felt like the whole thing was horrible. But apparently first dates are supposed to be horrible. I had no idea what to do the whole time, nor the social etiquette's I was supposed to follow. If only there was an online guide for online dating. Recently in my English class the topic arose and I knew this was my chance to help people like me. To spend a semester researching the topic. To go on more dates like the one I went on in England and then write about it. To experience firsthand the do's and don'ts of online dating. To explore this new world of courtship. To learn more about myself. To online date.
I am the serial dater and this is my guide to online dating.
