Catfish: The Art of Deception

Catfish: someone who pretends to be someone they're not using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances.

Source: Urban Dictionary

When I first transferred to LSU last semester I knew no one. Therefore I spent a lot of time on social media and on a new application I had found over Christmas break. That app was called Whisper. Whisper is a fairly new app for cell phones which, according to the website, helps someone 'share secrets, express yourself, [and] meet new people.' Everything is posted on a picture which must be either searched for, uploaded, or taken. After the picture is selected then you can post  words on top of it. This is how you communicate with people on the application. Scrolling through the page you can set it up to see 'whispers' nationally, through zip codes, or in your area. The ones in your area range from 'does someone have feminine products in --- dorm' to 'does anyone on the north side of campus want to hook up?' I would even watch people flirt through pictures. There was one conversation in particular that stood out to me. The conversation started through a disagreement, but it soon turned to flirtations between the two people. Then came the inevitable part of all conversations on the site: to upload a picture of ones self. I kept refreshing the conversation, but nothing was happening. I, in my  loneliness, had really began to emotionally invest myself in this developing 'relationship' of theirs. After a little while I realized that there was only one thing left for me to do. I was going to upload a picture. But I could and would never upload a picture of myself to an application like that. So I used Google to find a picture. Searching 'pretty girl selfie' I found the perfect photo. (Selfie: The act of taking a picture of ones self.) Upon trying to fix the conversation the boy never replied. However, I did receive many messages from people who thought she was attractive.

With no one here at LSU to call a friend I didn't see the harm in messaging these people back. In the next week or so the conversations died down between me and these boys. Well, not all of them. There was one boy who was very eager to meet me. I continued to put off the congregation. I knew that he would be disappointed in me having of deceived him. How do I tell him that the picture of me wasn't me? Then something very strange happened. With a family emergency I needed to get home immediately. The only way home I could go would be through the airport. Only knowing one person here, I messaged the boy on how to get to the airport. He insisted that he could pick me up, so that we could meet and I wouldn't have to pay for a taxi. With no other options, I agreed. But I also told him that I might not look like the person in the picture. He kindly told me that it was okay. I could tell he was as nervous as I was. We were both LSU sophomores and lived near each other. The next day I waited patiently in front of my dorm. Soon enough a car pulled up, the window went down, and I heard my name being called from inside the vehicle. I got in. We got lost on our way to the airport, but had some good laughs in the car. After I got inside the airport I texted him apologizing about not being who I really was. He told me it was okay, because I looked better than the picture I posted. We never became romantically involved with each other, but we still remain close friends. And that's the story of the time that I catfished someone.

We have always heard stories about people being deceived by other people online through false identities. But we never had a name for it. Until the television show Catfish: The TV Show. The television show finds people who have fallen in love with someone they have met online. It follows the creators of the show, Nev and Max, as people contact them because, according to Wikipedia, "they want to know if the person they have had a seemingly deep emotional relationship with is legitimate or if they are, in fact, a "catfish". Some couples have been together for a few months—others, for years. Nev claims that he has received requests from people asking him for his help in determining whether or not their online-only lover is lying or truthful about their identity. Each episode is a different couple with a different story; Nev travels to wherever they live and uses background checks and research to uncover the truth. He contacts the other person to arrange a first-ever meeting between the two lovers, then documents how the couples are impacted." The show has become very popular on MTV across America. Sometimes people are who they say they are and then all goes well. Sometimes the person is the exact opposite of who they say they are. But instead of the show stopping there they often times go much deeper into finding out why the person who catfished indeed did what they did. The show is very profitable because it doesn't take much money or people to execute the show. The show began 3 years after the word catfish was created in a documentary about Nev. He had met his ideal girl on Facebook and ultimately fell in love with her. Through the documentary you find out that the girl he fell in love with did not exist. But Nev and the girl behind the account remain friends and are still in contact.

The word catfish is derived from this story told in

Catfish: The Documentary.

"When live cod were shipped to Asia from North America, the fish's inactivity in their tanks resulted in only mushy flesh reaching the destination; but fishermen found that putting catfish in the tanks with the cod kept them active, and thus ensured the quality of the fish. There are people in everyone's lives who keep us active, always on our toes and always thinking."

This is Catfish: The Art of Deception

Oh no! Have you fallen in love with someone you have met online? Aren't sure if they really are a real person? You want to make sure they are who they say they are? Here is the Catfish Test to make sure you are really talking to someone who is real! The Catfish Test is a series of tasks you must complete to find out if someone is real or not!

The Catfish Test

• When you first meet someone, on social media or on a dating application, check to see if you know any of the same people. If you do then your friend can verify their existence, if not... Follow the following steps.
• Now you need to corroborate their photo. First save their picture(s) on your computer by dragging them onto your background or by right-clicking the picture. Next go to Google Images. You can either press the camera on the right side of the text box or you can drag a picture into the box. It will bring up either exact copies of the image or similar ones. If you see multiple examples of the picture all over the internet, then you have probably been catfished. But sometimes it will take you to someones social media account or another website which has information to correlate with their story. If there are no other images that pop up, then that photo is only used once on the internet.
• If neither of the previous steps helped you clarify whether or not the person you are talking to is real then take steps by collecting information from what they have told you and what is on their profile by searching for them on social media pages or online. Also search their profile name to see if it pops up anywhere else.
• Even though these seem like complicated steps, it only takes a few minutes to complete the Catfish Test. Good luck fishing!

I am the serial dater and this is my guide to online dating.

Plenty of Fish

People are always telling me that there are plenty of fish in the sea. Fisherman go out on the water and always expect there to be a catch of the day. What about the catch of a life time? Some people don't have time to go out and actually date. Therefore they online date. So, it happened. I thought before I could properly start this project I should experience 'the online date' here in America. How could I properly write about something I don't know anything about? It all started when my English class had to chose topics to study and experience first hand for the whole semester. I volunteered to do my semester project on online dating when the topic arose. Soon enough I had made a few dating profiles so I could compare and contrast the different sites. Little did I know how much online dating is impacting today's modern society. Online dating can be used through cell phone applications, social media, or websites particularly made for online dating. It is everywhere. As the first couple classes came and went I was more and more confused on what and how I would handle this project. Then I realized there was only one way to get this project started. To immerse myself into the project itself. To online date. And online date is what I did.

As Professor Peckham (Link to his Blog) continued to ask me how my blog was coming along, I realized that I needed to do something. That is when it hit me. I needed to go on an online date asap. After looking at the different profiles I had made I decided to stick mostly with the dating site Plenty of Fish. That is when I began scrolling. The sad part about online dating is that it is completely based on appearance. Sadly, most boys on the site have no idea how to make themselves and their pages presentable. (Blog post on the 'do and don't''s of online dating profiles!) But I found a few different boys that seemed pleasant enough to possibly meet up with. I messaged three different boys. I started out each message with a simple 'hi.' I got three responses. All three boys were very amiable. Then I did the test. After getting to know each of them I decided to see if they were real? How does one do this? You do the Catfish test. (Catfish: The Art of Deception) All three passed. I found Facebook's and Twitter accounts which correlated with who these boys said they were. Now I just had to meet one. Good thing *John got right to asking me out. He wanted to meet me the very next day.

Messaging John was initially a mistake. I was scrolling through profiles and saw a blurry one of someone hunting. I noticed a lot of men on POF (Plenty of Fish) had pictures like this. Pictures that didn't show their face. Just hunting. I was immediately curious. What type of person only posts pictures like this? So after the Catfish test I was surprised. I was shocked, this person is actually attractive. We messaged for a few hours. I made sure not to give too much information. I didn't want to give him my number, but at the last minute, after plans had been made, I caved in. I reckoned that if there was a miscommunication, then at least we could fix it through the phone. Before I went to meet him at Reginelli's I wrote my roommate an emergency note card. It consisted of his full name, his Facebook account, his college, his phone number, and his POF account. I was sure he was who he said he was, but in this situation I would rather be safe than sorry. I walked there and then waited outside. I received a text in regards to the location of Reginelli's. I responded 'Chimes.' Then I began waiting. He told me he was outside wearing a green shirt. The only person outside with me was a young black woman with dreads, texting, and wearing a green shirt. I stood there staring at her waiting for her to look up to say 'I'm so sorry. But I'm John. Well, actually Jillian...' I told him that he better be lying to me, because I couldn't be Catfished! Then it hit me. I told him Chimes and he must have gone to the restaurant Chimes rather the street. Sure enough after walking there I see a boy standing outside Chimes. He was wearing a green shirt.

Now when you go on an online date there are always two unavoidable awkward situations. The first is when you first meet and the second is when you say goodbye. I approach him, say his name, and then we look at each other. This is the part when the two people meeting take the opportunity to look at each and mentally compare it to what they saw online and what they expected. He smiled and gave me a hug. It isn't that I have low self esteem, but I do realize that I am not everyone's cup of tea. Well, no one has a universally ideal physique for each person. Simply impossible because it doesn't exist. I was just grateful he didn't give me a sour expression. We walk to Reginelli's and have our own section. This was the first time either of us had ever been there and were very confused to the menu. I have never seen so many cheese, sauce, and topping variations in my life. The menu was *literally* Greek to us. We went with a large half pepperoni and half pineapple and jalapenos. We had spent the first bit talking about how weird the menu was and after ordering we had to talk about real things. He was really cool and it wasn't difficult to talk to him.

We spend the next few hours laughing and making jokes. He tells me about his family, life, and school. Every once in a while he would lean forward, look at me, and then I would feel something against my foot. Me, being the most awkward person ever, would break eye contact and move my foot. It eventually got so weird that I just sat pretzel legged in the booth. That isn't weird, is it? I've never been a fan of playing footsie. Soon after we got our food my friend walked by and decided to come in to say hi. She talked for a few minutes and then left. Turns out me and John have a lot in common. He is taking the current semester off to work in a chemical engineering plant. He almost played college football, but opted to stay in Baton Rouge. He also enjoys hunting and insisted that he would take me some weekend. I didn't realize how long we had been there until everything was cleared from the table. Time really flew by. After he pays for the meal with a hundred dollar bill we still sat for another half hour. I ask him why he decided to go online dating. He told me how his friends have been persuading him to do it. John heard that online dating was becoming more and more socially acceptable. He decided to just make an account and see where it took him. I told him why I was online dating, sans the part about it being for English class. We then realized that we had been there for over two hours. We decided to head home. He throughout the night would insist that he should personally take me back to my dorm. For the final time that evening I told him I would prefer him to not accompany me home.

Now time for the second inevitable awkward situation. We walk a little way towards his car and my dorm. We talk and continue to joke around. But now they are nervous jokes and we are walking slower and slower. Who knows what is about to happen? I see my street, turn to hug him, then I cross the street. That was it. Why do I have to be so awkward? He was such a nice boy! Walking home I noticed a missed call from my friend who had come into the restaurant. She began badgering me with questions. The began yelling, 'WHERE DID YOU MEET THAT SEXY ASS BOY.' (I promise that that is a direct quote.) She started talking about his body, his eyes, and his hair. I hadn't of noticed anything besides his eyes. I am not one to notice or care too much for physical appearances. My friend was mad that I didn't notice how 'hot' John was. She asked again, 'where did I meet him?' I reminded her of my English project. There was only silence on the other end of the line. Then she said, 'You're kidding me!' Now she wants to make an online dating account. Even though the date didn't go anywhere, it was still a fun time and a free meal. Free meals are such a great incentive to get as much field experience for my English project as possible. People are always hearing about bad online dating experiences when there are also always a few diamonds in the rough. I found one of those diamonds. But I've never cared too much about them and I had no interest in this boy. So I tossed the diamond back into the ocean, because there are always plenty of fish in the sea.

I am the serial dater and this is my guide to online dating.

*names have been changed for personal purposes

That One Time I Went On An Online Date...

My aunt divorced many years ago. Raising two children and holding multiple jobs, she realized she didn't have time to meet people. She had no time to court people. She had no time to fall in love. After a while she began to become bored. What had happened? She was smart and beautiful, yet who has the time to put themselves out there anymore? Then her life drastically changed. She was introduced to online dating. In the past year she has gone on over 40 online dates. According to her there is a genuine person every ten men. However, she keeps going strong. Last spring break when I went to visit her in England she told me about her online romances. She was currently talking to three different men from around the United Kingdom. I attentively listened to her tales about strange men, sad and lonely men, and funny men. She showed me pictures of the beautiful men she insisted she had met on her dating sites. I still wasn't buying this. I had seen the show Catfish and simply assumed that my aunt was being played by these online accounts. Well, until I met up with her on one of her dates. I asked, 'Do you have any sons?' My trips duration was approximately two weeks. My aunt insisted that if I wanted to stay in her house I should make an account too. She told me how it is now a social norm in the United Kingdom, as well as across Europe, to date online. It wasn't anything to be ashamed of nor was it anything to hide. Her and her friends would go to promoted single events and would always come home with a laugh. She knew I didn't believe her and wanted me to see what it was myself. So I made an account.

As soon as I made an account a million things rushed through my head. What do I do? What do I make my profile picture? What do I write about myself? What is safe to share? How to stay safe? How can you tell if someone is genuine? My aunt, after over 40 dates, took me under her wing. After all she is the master of online dating and bestowed upon me her wisdom. She told me everything I needed to know at the time and assured me everything would be okay. She gave me an iPhone so I could call and text the people I met. My aunt was setting me up for online dating. She made it seem so normal. This would never have happened in the States. I was stunned. But if she could find her Romeo's on this site, could I? I immediately was bombarded with a million notifications. I received messages ranging from creepy to absolutely adorable. I couldn't even keep up with them. Turns out an American girl living in Oxford is a hot commodity. (Who knew?) I was soon to be leaving and I still hadn't met up with anyone on the site. I had, however, caught a few Catfishes... A Catfish is when someone uses someone else's picture on an online service. They pretend to be someone else. They all had similar excuses on how they were models (explaining the abundance of their photos on the internet), being stalked by an ex, or their account soon disappeared. Then I found the real deal. He was six foot and in the RAF (Royal Air Force.) My aunt was putting on the pressure for me to meet up with someone and this soldier seemed genuine. He was my first.

We planned to meet downtown Oxford where we would grab some food then head to a pub. We were to meet at six. But of course I missed my bus and had to wait. Initially I was thirty minutes late. I was mortified because I hate being late and I am never late. (Except to English class literally every day...) I don't want this to be his first impression of me. Being an American I didn't know my way around Oxford and had no idea where I was supposed to meet him. I couldn't find him. All I could think was that this was a hoax. Then I saw him. I immediately hid between two buildings and told my aunt I was coming home. She inquired why. I told her that I couldn't do it. He didn't look like his pictures and he couldn't have been taller than me. I was mostly mortified of meeting him and his appearance didn't really matter. This was all too sketchy for me. I was in a foreign land with a borrowed cell phone meeting someone from Scotland I had met online. We were meeting for a date. Not a hang out or a get to know each other dinner. A real genuine date. I was a nervous and awkward mess. My aunt told me that I better suck it up and that if she could survive 40 of these, then I could survive one. Nope. I was looking for a loophole. I did a 180 in hopes of him not seeing me and I headed to the central movie theater. I would hide in the theater. But the closest movie time for the show I wanted to see was in an hour. Crap. I conjured up a plan. I paid for the ticket and held in all my pride as I went to where he was. If it was the last thing I did I would go on this date with this soldier I met online. We finally met at 7. He looked and waited for me for an hour.

I told him something came up and that I only had an hour. I told him I thought he ditched me, so I bought a movie ticket in case I was stood up. He believed me and said he understood and that it was all a misunderstanding. We went to a nearby noodle shop and ordered some beers. Turns out he is an only child, 25, and ready to settle down. What? While I went to meet with him for a fun time, this man was looking to meet his not so future wife. I have never gone to the bathroom more in my life then that night at dinner. I couldn't wait to get away. I continued looking around for someone to save me. He was incredibly dull and wouldn't stop talking about the military. I tried to seem interested, but all I could do was count down the minutes to leave. Ten minutes before the show started it was time to get the bill. He was a little short cash so I had to spot him for his meal. He walked me to the theater, leaned in for the kiss as I pulled a swerve, and ran inside the theater. He told me he had a great time and that he wanted to meet the next day. I never contacted him back on the phone or through the site. I understand I probably was sweating the whole time with nerves and never really gave the guy a chance, but I felt like the whole thing was horrible. But apparently first dates are supposed to be horrible. I had no idea what to do the whole time, nor the social etiquette's I was supposed to follow. If only there was an online guide for online dating. Recently in my English class the topic arose and I knew this was my chance to help people like me. To spend a semester researching the topic. To go on more dates like the one I went on in England and then write about it. To experience firsthand the do's and don'ts of online dating. To explore this new world of courtship. To learn more about myself. To online date.

I am the serial dater and this is my guide to online dating.